11/28/09 10:38 am - October Part II.PHOTOS DOB: 25 - 31 OCTOBER 2009.  ( + ) |
11/28/09 10:38 am - October Part II.PHOTOS DOB: 25 - 31 OCTOBER 2009. ( + ) |
11/26/09 01:40 pm - Behavioral Contagion: Part I18 OCTOBER, 2009 - WET DREAM: When you live in California, it's probably dumb to read Loma Prieta Earthquake anniversary posts before going to bed. Lest you wake up from dreams of The Golden Gate Bridge collapsing while standing in close proximity of it, and not being able to tell if it has actually happened or not. My dream last morning was a miserable one. It was so vivid that I could feel the wetness from a tsunami that took place just after the initial quake. Immediately started running with an older guy who strangely resembled my humanities professor from two summers ago. I’m not even going to attempt that meaning. Well, we got to a safe place, his car, and we take off, smashing through other cars in the process. Anyway, Just as we get to safety, I wake up bugged out. Woke Bryan, couldn’t fall back asleep, it was 100AM and we'd been asleep for ages anyway. Saved by the cheapo Halloween lights in our room. Had I not seen them first thing opening my eyes I would have been in a pitch black room, believing myself dead. That would have sucked. Then I’d have to question all sorts of things involving the possibility of afterlife, and who really wants to go there after you’ve just died in an earthquake dream anyway. So I’m pretty sure I’m not dead, and the next big earthquake hasn’t hit yet, and it’s still safe to say there is no such thing as afterlife, otherwise my writing to LJ... what a rip off afterlife if I ever saw one.  20 OCTOBER, 2009 - DAY SHIFT : Fuck it. It’s inevitable. This flu season - dreading it already. You can’t work in a hospital and come away healthy. It doesn’t happen. I’m already succumbing to the horror. I might as well go around licking handrails at the mall. One does not need to mutilate their immune system in order to fully grasp the benefits of hand-health hygiene! No one learns to buy things online either apparently! No one realizes birth control is really just a way to prevent the spread of small people germs! =P I really wish my body had a hit counter, where it would count and collect the number of things that have gone wrong with my body [already] at my age. You know what. People are doing it all wrong. You’ve got these fancy counter things that show how many visits you have and how popular you are, No. You want to see some real Fame? Install one of those things on my body and I’ll show you how many little microbe friends I’ve made since I was BORN. But on the + side, I have collected some nice big multi colored leaves this year. I like that activity.  21 - 22 OCTOBER, 2009 - PARANORMAL CRAPTIVITY: Despite the sub title I do have one positive thing to say about this movie, and it's how glad I am to have not wasted money watching Paranormal Activity in theaters. There is at most, ‘a’ decent scene. All the build up (what build up) for nothing very major... Burn! I heard it described as the following: "original, clever, solid, believable, outstanding, (and scary, (of course")). None of which I feel, fit the film. If M. Night Shyamalan had been involved, it would have been interesting. The couple worked, but not affectingly. I know it was supposed to just be The Believable Ordinary Couple, but real couples have their exclusive vagaries/inside thingies/quirks/Etc., so creating this team of total overly-normal-normal-ness, creates the opposite of believable. Trying too hard to just be a normal couple, oh yeah, 'cept for this scary problem we have. I get it, I get it. But when your subject matter fails this hard, maybe it's because you didn’t bother to add those interesting personal details for backup, things that make you say “Wow/Aww, we do that too! We have our own little unique-to-the-relationship thing like that too!” you end up with at least feeling connected to the characters, but not an identical connection. - which leads me to why the audience might have a hard time feeling sympathy for the female. Was it just me or did she treat her boyfriend like shit? That guy was annoying, sure, but he’s not just dealing with the "issue", he’s helping to understand and take care of it. The ending bothered me. I wanted something that would replenish my numb ass and bored mind. I wanted answers, instead, no. Wait. I’m writing about the film. Hmm. Well, then perhaps it was decent enough to generate anger. Yes. If I didn’t feel something about it, I couldn’t go to the energy. So, my official word is: disappointing. Not scary. But watchable enough to discredit. - Obviously. Overall: I wouldn’t even watch it again to criticize. (That bad) I just don’t understand why everyone is berserk for this film. Blair Witch Project I liked better. And mostly because of the location.  I've accomplished and concluded a much needed counterproductive entry, full of more nonsense and negativity than the last. All completely without being hormonal or truly unhappy. After much analysis, Har fucking Har, I'm recently not impressed with Carl Jung. And his tests are BS. Next. P.S: Fyodor Dostoevsky is Great, I bought Notes From The Underground and I also bought Crime and Punishment to own and read offline now. I really don't need to buy books anymore since I have internet. - (being broke is another factor but let's use the other excuse) - Only magazines and the books I supremely worship and just want for possessive purposes. It's also much easier to store notes / quotes. And I guess since this entry is already long-ish, (you may now continue to mourn the loss of any breviloquence I might have ever intended on keeping before I even started this blasted entry) I will update on an emo level then. Are you foaming at the mouth in excite yet or are you? Well, I suppose it's true, the best part of my life now, is probably my relationship with Bryan. Everything goes to hell at least a few times a week, but I sometimes forget how very lucky I am to be loved, by someone I love at the very same time. And even better he's Amused with the fact that I still ask him to turn around when I'm indisposed =P Even though we've memorized every inch of each other, somehow he calls it cute and then we go do something separately, yet together still, and resume our lives without that slippery desperate worry or dire cling. A comfortable space that allows us to be around each other basically all the time. How does this all happen anyway?! I don't even need answers anymore. It'll be a decade shortly. BIZARRE. And we've already chosen our anniversary spot for this one. We picked a REALLY good one this time. Hints, if you're curious: It's only a 6-7 hour flight give or take. Umbrella drinks. Definitely warm & wet and hopefully wonderful. We originally planned to go stay at "The Overlook Hotel" (From The Shining movie) which is really called The Stanley Hotel, but we checked out the rooms online and we were so sad at the prices for the rooms being really not spectacular. Not at least for an anniversary. So sad. You have no idea. I really, really, really wanted to stay there. But this new location is exotic and the exact opposite kind of scenery we usually visit. So, we're thrilled to try something new. We have a month to plan. Which for us, is way more time than usual. We normally just book flights the night before and plan it all spur of the moment. So, instead we picked the location in advance, but where we'll stay + everything else will all be decided the night before / when we arrive / just to keep up with tradition. =P We're retarded. I don't want to discuss anymore of this trip, because I don't want to plan too much now. But yes, I hope it works out. Last year we flew Las Vegas. The year before we did Monterey and the aquarium, then before that we did L.A. Which were all really nice, except we were in L.A twice that one year so the new-ness feeling wasn't there as much, still great. We saved up a lot for Vegas, but we'll spend much less at this location. We don't want noise, luxury or lavishness this year. Just some peace and quiet. As much of it as possible. |
10/14/09 08:31 am - Website.Another improper update: So. Hello there. I decided to try out a free website service. This is my first time attempting to make a website on my own. The site offered templates and ways of not having to start completely from scratch - real professional and nice looking too, but instead, I decided to start from a blank page and just do it myself. I really need the experience in design anyway, so I'll learn more doing it on my own - as opposed to paying someone to do it for me or picking out an impersonal template to customize. Right away - It's nothing fancy. I'm not "pro" - and I certainly don't profit. Just for fun. Just because: why not ? Eventually I'll improve on design and have full control over everything since it's just me working on the site. It actually inspires me to feel motivated in this direction again. So this might be pretty cool. I'll see, I guess. If all goes well, I would like to buy the account and have my own domain. No ads, and all those unlimited offers they tempt you with, of course. Okay! First things first - The "website" I've been working on lately: |
9/16/09 08:20 pm - Lab | VideoWewt! My first time working in a real lab. It's gonna be a long commute. 8HR shifts, and 4HR travel time all together, there and back, about-ish. I'll have to be up at about 5AM and I'll probably carpool with Diana (Girl I work with at Kaiser, and now soon, Boyer's lab) after awhile. It's only a couple days a week though so it's not major. I never imagined I'd end up in this field. I'll get the experience and move on to my preferred field of study eventually. It's not infectious disease, but at least environmental study is interesting and well, I'm not complaining! My resume is starting to look acceptable now. It'll be hard work when I add classes into the equation. Kaiser, Lab, and school. I've made this field my main focus since before I even menstruated... basically, this has been a goal in my little life longer than I have been a 'woman'. Cute ^^ Also, this is some short clip that goes with something else I'm working on right now. Don't mind the eye boogie I have going in here, or morning face, unfortunately you can't photoshop video. |
9/10/09 04:55 am - September • 20094:40AM - September 05 - 2009 Right. I totally reject Twilight and refuse to have anything to do with it, but here I am finishing the fifth Harry Potter. Bryan and I just started the first one about three weeks ago. We’ve made it just in time to be able to catch the sixth one in theaters. The fifth Harry Potter is my favorite, I can't imagine the next being an improvement visually. In each film I kept a look out for that owl - the clumsy one, who delivers all the mail and crashes into everything. Haha. I love how they did the fight sequence between Dumbledore and 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'  It was breathtaking. The whole thing, fantastic visually. The way everything was spliced - the memory scenes, I mean. It’s close to how flashbacks really feel. Sure there are slight things to criticize, but I’m not going to. The movies are brilliant without having to count on overplayed scenes just to make up for a lack of substance. I’m hardly ever very impressed with wholesome movies. No, that’s not true. But my point stands out better now. It is nice having a boyfriend who runs a video store. And video game stuff too but we do everything on computers these days, sadly. I completely miss playing sonic the hedgehog, echo the dolphin, crash bandicoot, Croc + other cheesy games. Since his store has the typical mix-up we're able to keep mostly any film. We have so many movies now, such a sick amount between the two of us. I'm already looking forward to seeing The Fourth Kind with Milla Jovovich. It looks pretty scary actually! I could never straight face an Alien type film. (well not true for all) But I'll admit, 'Signs' scared me hard. M. Night Shyamalan is so gifted in creating those creepy atmospheres. He takes the ordinary, the everyday commonality in which anyone can relate, - manipulates it, - for when we are to reexamine that ordinary thing, it has been so creep-revised, you no longer can refer to that thing as it once was - an ordinary taken for granted thing. - That, is undeniably beautiful. For months after I watched Signs I needed to have Bryan touch my back or put a pillow behind me so no "alien hand" could get there... >_< or I would ask him to let me fall asleep first while it's still "safe", Hah. My reaction to watching Fire in the Sky = far more pathetic than Signs though. Fuck that movie right here! The whole movie is sluggish and tolerable - even retarded, then suddenly out of nowhere... this memory scene that the main actor experiences, caused by some silly flapjack syrup that accidentally falls down his face... hits the screen for several terrifying minutes of complete fuck! Depending on how hormonal I am that day, it can be unbearable to watch. I love gore, medical related scenarios, even silly supernatural things. None of it repels me at all, - rather opposite, except the one subject ... Aliens, Oh & Volcanoes. Why! It's so dumb. So much intolerance, I must have been abducted before or something ... in a magma encrusted spaceship, probably. Those are my biggest visual fears. And I give that power to anyone who reads this if you feel like being evil ^^  Monday, September 07, 2009 12:55PM I guess it's fucking labor day. Sure would have been excellent to know that BEFORE I decided to walk into work. Fucking fantastic. Here I am walking through Kaiser thinking to myself “Humm dee dumm dum, my, these halls look mighty empty, what’s going on here, this is a hospital, why so dark ? ” I see and stop a security guard for questioning who then tells me it’s Labor Day - duh & most of us aren't coming in - yeah, most of us. Well since I'm obviously not a surgeon, ER physician's assistant or anyone of dire need, I obviously left the hospital feeling like a jackass. Now I’m here, what do I fucking do ? I know, Write to LJ. Brilliant. I love having the IQ of marmalade. But you know what’s funny... this is the first “job” that has gotten me up and out on a day I didn’t even need to be prompt. At my other jobs I walked out during lunch - never to return, or I just blatantly quit - no two weeks - about 30 million times. Complete flake. Until now - but this doesn’t surprise me at all. I like my little place at Kaiser much more than serving coffee to stuck up fuckers. Now I’m the stuck up fucker - no, not really, but I’m working on it ! Well. I think this entry has been enlightening enough. Good-Day.  My hair is going through the change, no not menopause, BUT since I'm covering so many important topics today. . . |
8/24/09 01:35 am - June • July • August"To be acutely conscious is a disease, a real, honest-to-goodness disease." — Dostoevsky  The idea of total apathy is defective to me. The idea of complete intolerance can also be defective. The idea of showing only your most cultivated intentions to a select person(s) - the one(s) you love, seems so achingly attractive to me. It's as if people want to look their best only in front of complete strangers. I can find something wrong with that picture. Every day IT grows. This inactive intolerance; my limping passivity. Why is it that I can be at all comfortable with the people I love - and mean it in the truest sense of the word “comfortable” - how it is usually anything but beautiful. Why is it that I feel more at ease opening up about the ugly, and the daily, to someone I have no real connection to, - just this sort of emotional toilet flush, while I cannot for the life of me feel totally unsullied being embraced by a family member. As If it were true to say that we are huggers. Validity aside - let the thought be.  You spend some, or all, of your life trying to feel - in most cases, attempts at being “loved” by the people who birthed, clothed and raised you . . . the same people who tell you just about everything they are supposed to tell you. And what good a use is that ? to me, or anyone. What you are supposed to hear, is like listening to some useless elevator music on your way down. Sometimes you meet a person you're not even looking for, and they become the very picture of family just by loving you without having to feel at all obligated.  THE YE OLDE |
7/13/09 04:59 am - Functionalism and Qualia.Damn-it. I can't remember when but sometime earlier this year my dad, cousin + his date, and yours truly, went to the Oakland arena to catch our very first Monster Jam. Holy crap it kicked ass. My cousin, father & his date were not digging it as much as I was, probably - I think. They all walked away saying "once was enough." So maybe I enjoyed it a little bit more because It was so loud. Mind-Numbing. I'll admit, I wasn't prepared for that. So many kids there and I was thinking how the fuck are they handling that level of noise like that? Earplugs, I guess. Louder than any concert I've been to, louder than anything I've ever had the privilege of hearing. And by privilege I mean, wow, I'm surprised I'm not deaf now. So I get to thinking, about the people INSIDE the trucks and how are they feeling about the noise ... I don't know. Pretty neat aspect aside from that: I wasn't on anything, nothing at all, just sitting there watching with my fam and zooming in on the noise being so loud I started getting a little high from it, adrenaline high or something. It felt pretty nice. That gave me an idea I wasn't acquainted with before. How people distract from addiction; they do things very in-the-moment and replace an addiction for something very felt, that causes lots of little rushes like that. I'm sold on that more than some step program or hypnosis bologna. I loved Monster Jam and would definately catch another show. Next time with Bryan - because he loves it too and hasn't been since he was little. Bryan dug up his old Grave Digger shirt from way back when to let me wear, since the event. I love how it's too big on me, the shirt, and it's from when he was grade school little. Bryan used to be chubby, can you imagine? Even his weight was something like 9-12 pounds when he was born. All that cute baby weight really distributed nicely, being so tall, I'm assuming that or just from not drinking anymore? Anywho couple of pictures from that awesomely white trash night:  ( MonsterJam ) Bryan's hand has healed remarkably well. Without infection or really any major discomfort. He allowed me the other week to remove his stitches for him, instead of going back to his Doctor. I really enjoyed that experience. A couple of them were embedded under the skin, from latent swelling which called for a bit of a improvisation. He was comfortable enough to let me remove the dry skin that had started to crust over the stitches. It was even more fun than peeling off sun burnt skin. I sterilized my tweezers and the sharpest knife we could find in my house at the time, and I just worked with what we had there. Bandaged him up again, cleaned the area, and he's been able to feel his fingers and use his hand almost to full capacity once again. we were worried there for a minute about that finger numbness. Stitches:  ( Bryan's Left Hand ) I found some funny old pics. I've STILL procrastinated hooking up my scanner. Surprise, surprise. Only a few of them anyhow - so I just took pictures of the pictures and sharpened them as much as I could. Old Pictures: Those who can handle a higher dose than 15mg oxy, I salute you - you insane buggers. I’ve been biting little pieces of Bryan’s fifteen mgs - because I can’t handle a whole. How that boy consumes more than one of those in a short period of time. I’ll never know. I had a half last night, I was floating. I think we were watching some Keira Knightly movie … I don’t remember much of it - except that cute Cillian Murphy person and Keira’s attractive mouth. We didn’t finish the film, Bryan had to work soon and floating around our bed was feeling more interesting than sleep. It is the best; getting warm and fuzzyfied with the person you love. A feeling of being very drifty, fragmented and in your head yet the physically-consuming entanglement of each other. I always crave those fleeting moments, you find yourself offering up the most of what you nearly always try to control. An in-the-now episode, just ‘being’ without the use of analysis. boy and pill. And feeling only the two of them inside. It’s slightly funny how I even managed to stop dosing to pass my urine/blood tests for Kaiser. I stopped taking them the same night I got my hair cut. Interesting week followed. I had my last immunization on the eighth of June. Also the day of Jori’s Birthday, who accompanied me to occupational medicine before we went out to celebrate her birthday. I felt pretty good that day, and of course, dosed again. Apparently I’m “allowed” to have the pills in my system if I have a legitimate script for them. I do for the vicodin - just not the oxy, so that’ll have to be an irregular ‘for fun’ type of thing. I don’t mind now though. I did it once before and I’m pretty certain I can again. How does it differ, than someone who likes to have drinks? Same concept, different substance. Bryan and I just don’t drink so it’s sort of become our thing. I heard some third-party poo-poo-ing about whether or not I’d be able to piss clean for my tests - sorry to disappoint - but the only alternative would have been, to literally piss my career choices away. That reality was just not strong enough to detour me. While I have been on the pills for the last 5 and a half years of my life; it was either suffer short term or suffer long term. Needless to say? I now work for Kaiser! Let’s see how this whole living as a responsible-or-something-like-it mess, works out. I’ve got an interesting blend of things going on and it seems to be a pretty maneuverable system for me, for us. I don’t know what to write about really. Some pretty basic things here. Just going about my days, you know how things are ... transitioning. & at the same time a routine that has it’s typical ups & downs. I just agree to sign a contract that states it’s never going to be perfect. And when it is perfect you are probably too busy anticipating something else ... or you to detach to live in those in-the-moment episodes every now and then with the person you love - doing - Ridiculous. Pointless. Things. like floating on your bed and making out before you go to work, before you go to sleep.  |
6/27/09 07:50 am - Sooner murder an infant in it’s cradle than nurse unacted desires. |
5/27/09 03:13 am - Ebola Kiss4. EBOLA KISS | PAGES 81 — 84 While Ebola was breaking out in Kikwit, I spoke with a doctor named William T. Close, who had lived in Congo (Then Zaire) for sixteen years. When he was in Zaire, Bill Close rebuilt and ran the mama yemo general hospital, a two thousand-bed facility in the capital. When Ebola broke out for the first time, in 1976, Close went to Zaire and helped coordinate the medical effort to deal with the virus, and advised the Zairian Government. Years later, during the Ebola Kikwit outbreak, he acted as a liaison between Congolese government officials and doctors from the CDC in Atlanta. “In 1976, when Ebola broke out in Yambuku that first time, there was a nun, Sister Beata, who died of Ebola,” Close recalled. “There was a priest, father Germain Lootens, who gave her the last rites as she died. She had a terrible fever, sweat was pouring down her face, and bloodstained tears were running down her face. Father Lootens took out his handkerchief and wiped the sweat from her forehead and the blood tears from her face. Then, unthinkingly, he took the bloodstained handkerchief and wiped the tears from his own face with it - he had been crying too. A week later he came down with Ebola, and a week after that he was dead.”  Now, Close had been hearing reports that some members of the medical staff of Kikwit General Hospital - Dr. Bwaka and his nurses - had continued to care for Ebola patients despite the grave risks to themselves. “Those hospital staff people have gone into that hospital to work knowing they may die,” Close said. And the doctors and nurses in Kikwit were working without basic medical supplies. “The greatest need in Kikwit right now is for rubber aprons to protect the doctors and nurses, because the blood and vomit is soaking through their operating gowns,” He said. “This is huge, lethal African hemorrhagic virus. We all sort of feel that Ebola comes out of its hiding place when something occasionally alters the very delicate balance of the ecosystems, in a tropical region where things grow as they would in a petri dish. But if there are lessons to be learned here, they are human lessons. This is about people doing their duty. It’s about doctors doing what has to be done, right now, without a whole lot of heroics. Have you ever been petrified with fear? Real fear? Possessed by naked fear, where you have no hope of control over your fate? If you’re a medical worker, when the die is cast, the fear goes away, and you do what you have to do - you get to work. That’s what’s happening with the medical people in that hospital right now. There are things happening in Kikwit. . .” He paused. “Magnificent human things…How can I explain this? There was another incident in 1976, also in Yambuku. One of the doctors - he was a Belgian named Jean-Francois Ruppol - delivered a baby in the middle of it all.” Ebola has a profound effect on pregnant women: they hemorrhage profusely and abort the fetus, which itself is infected with Ebola. “There were people dying of Ebola all around in that room in the hospital, and there was a woman in childbirth. She was Dr. Ruppol’s patient, and her baby was his patient, too. The baby was stuck - too big for the birth canal.” The woman had a high fever, she was terribly ill, but her baby had to be delivered, even if it was infected with Ebola. “So he performed the Zarate procedure on her,” Close said. “What’s that?” I asked. “The Zarate procedure? It’s a simple and rather crude but very effective way of enlarging the outlet to remove the baby. “With a knife, you split the pubic symphysis.” “The what?” “The front of the pelvis. The pelvic bones.” He said. It’s a hard, bony spot, and you can feel it, just above the pubic area, he said. “You split the bones there. You press the scalpel through cartilage. The bones go “pop” and the pelvis springs open, and you pull the baby out. The hospital had run out of anesthetics. So he did the Zarate procedure on the woman without giving her an anesthetic.” “My God.” “She was conscious. By the time he got the baby out, the baby had stopped breathing. The baby was in breathing arrest and drenched with the woman’s blood. He put the baby’s mouth to his mouth and gave the baby mouth to mouth resuscitation. The baby started to breathe. He pulled away, and his mouth and face were smeared with blood. There was a nurse standing by. When she saw his face she said, ‘Doctor, do you realize what you’ve done?’ “ ‘I do now,’ he said.” |
5/24/09 05:24 pm - c o i t u s interruptus |
5/11/09 07:57 pm - Nodding SyndromeSOMETHING — LATELY,
If I had been through an expressive phase. I was moved - poignant. I’m fazed and re-re-unfazed. A new essential piece of mind, is lost. Acclimated to thinking in unspeakable ways. And “some” doubt. Not that it feels very over, but I do miss feeling excited. Maybe I was crushed before and I don’t remember. It’s not working out for numerous reasons, and of course it doesn’t help that I could be trying. I’ve got such a thin “could” going on over here. Probably thin enough to confuse even the sturdiest knot. It could be a multitude of things right now, it’s the times baby, it’s the amusement park pancreas, it’s the late hours, lack of sleep, weight loss, angel hair & chalky right through a dollar bill hose. Lungs are also fried. Made an awful taste in the back of my throat. It’s not like trickling phlegm. It has dust mites, very ‘high’ dust mites - it’s another way to be numb, and some other things we say are difficult. “How’eth many ways does thou need’eth to shut’eth down” - redumbdant. One of them has to eventually work - it’s always in the last place you look, not because of fate and wizards - and all of it’s majestic born-again buffoonery, but because - you just stop looking.  Bizarre Illness Terrifies Sudanese: Nodding syndrome - A mysterious disease of children Article:Here "Martha Halim lives in fear. She is terrified of the moon's phases, afraid of eating and fearful of fires, rivers and ponds. She is stricken with mysterious seizures that frighten her from eating. Her parents have tried everything. She's been to a hospital, she's seen a Western doctor and she's taken anti-epileptic drugs." She gives a grim description of what it's like when her disease overpowers her. "When it comes, it looks like a black cloud but in the shape of a human," said Martha. "That's all I know. At the end, I find myself on the floor." Martha suffers from a strange affliction called "nodding syndrome," apparently unique to southern Sudan. Its young victims tend to nod vigorously at the sight of food. The condition often progresses to severe seizures, mental retardation and death. The affliction, which has been found in about 300 children so far, baffles experts. The World Health Organization began investigating it about two years ago, around a year after Martha's symptom first appeared. Peter Spencer, an American neurotoxicologist who has investigated the condition for WHO, encountered another 13-year-old girl with a bizarre variation of the illness. "I was able to demonstrate with her that she was a regular nodder with local food and by contrast she did not nod when eating a variety of American food — candy bars or whatever. It was absolutely staggering," he said. "You can consider her a dead person, because she is not going to marry and she is going to die of this disease," her father says. "If this treatment doesn't work, then all I can do is wait to let the child die." ■  ( Something Visual: Photos • April • May ) |
5/11/09 12:32 pm - Kaiser Hospital • Interview!( The Interview ) |
3/26/09 04:33 pm - The TrialI swear I'm almost done posting on this topic. But it's been in the news, and all over the local papers on the internet - and we finally know who it is, where he lives, went to school with my sister... And this is what the man looks like:  ( Σ ) The trial is going to be a long one. An unnecessary battle. He didn’t just mess up once and apologize or learn from it at all, he has a huge list. And now his criminal record is bleeding into our lives. He has no conscience and that to me is about the worst part because, he can never be punished, only locked away. In court he sits unmoved and tired, rolling eyes slumped over in his seat, bored. His girlfriend motions to him and makes eye contact, more focused on him and any attention she can get from him than from what she helped to do. I have no idea when any of this will end. I don’t think anytime soon, and they are all pleading Not Guilty. The night he did it, he dressed up as The Joker. He opened my grandmothers door, yelling "Ta-Da!" And did a jig-tap-dance before he began to choke her. My Grandmother is still recovering, and is well enough now to own and take care of a cat. I should get ready soon, I'm sick with another flu and not feeling (or looking) so hot... And I've got tickets tonight for a show. I've also got my math class, so I'll probably stop by my school before I head out to drop off my math HW and head to SF from there. |
2/13/09 04:01 pm - Las Vegas | CA, Metalfest: My hair has gotten too long. I have been covering it with black cherry instead of black for some months now. And finally the color has begun to show. I think it's time for a major hair cut, among other changes... That will probably end up on here eventually. Too much to report in too little time for now though. Time to bathe - going to see an old friend tonight. ↓ California Metalfest |
12/30/08 12:49 pm - Victory for Sylvanas!FOUR assholes in custody without bail on my Grandmother's assault case! It's being tried as "Attempted Murder" Four men, possibly a woman, and one guy did the whole job, while all the others were in fact involved. |
12/10/08 02:36 am - December 10, 2008 - Photo Entry |
12/4/08 04:45 pm - Man who jizz in cash register come into money.I just deleted about 80% of my journal. I have been thinking about a fresh start entirely but since this journal is paid for and I don't really desire a new username at the moment, I'll continue to occupy this account. Feel free to add this journal of course, it will remain public mostly. While I'm undergoing maintenance laugh with me or at me for that matter... |
11/28/08 06:06 amSo I'm currently absorbed in a book called INTO THIN AIR by Jon Krakauer - just half way through. I have not been this excited by a book since The Demon in the Freezer by Richard Preston. I'm resorting to a fantasy - adventure phase recently. I just sliced some pumpkin cheesecake, poured a glass of soy nog and took a moment to read & play on the computer. I've been wanting to take pictures of my viral collection that I've acquired from over the years, and so, tonight I tried to put together a few of my favorite items.  Well here is some; not all from my ridiculously-obsessive-science-virology-c |
11/5/08 04:18 am - The 5th of November:Started & Completed a household project this weekend. Cleaned, reorganized, chopped my old desk up into pieces and threw the old wood and rusty nails belonging to said desk out; in replace of new *actual* desk. I was using this self-made wooden desk before, and am now using something very official looking, clean with a nice finish for my computer, stereo, camera equipment, and books to rest atop. Quite pleased. I found so many old books, I thought I’d lost. I now have a working printer again, so no more emailing my articles and essays for school over to my folks computer to print out anymore. Mmm, let’s see a little something different now; in the process of moving & reorganizing I found some really old photo album with all these negatives and print sheets of old photoshoots. Not to be confused with old as in a few years or months ago, but I mean from my first ever shoots. I found photos that were developed in my school photo lab, and I guess when I got my digital cameras I simply forgot about them. I have not seen these film sheets since the time they were captured. This was before I got on the computer for anything other than playing Lemmings, before I even knew what Myspace or Livejournal was, or even really used a chat program. Very Hilary Computer-Newb Era. Well, I still haven’t hooked up my scanner so I had to take pictures of these print sheets with my digital camera and upload them all that way. As you can see these photo sheets have aged significantly, and the quality is very bad. The "film grain" effect isn’t Photoshop, that is just the process of time. They have been tossed around a lot over the years and left to deteriorate in some dusty photo album. In fact I remember why I put them all there, I was hiding them from my mom, because they were risqué for my age, and I didn’t want to get into trouble ! Haha. In one of the shoots you can see I’m wearing a ‘Marduk’ shirt before I cut it up and made it a stummy-shirt later on. . . anyway, I still have the shirt. I had really fried hair. I was always experimenting with it and bleaching it and doing all sorts of shit to my head. I was but a wee thing. Well, I am still that awkward geek. Mmm yes, one shoot is in the cemetery, as if the concept was the living end! At least I now, know better of that idea.  |
10/16/08 01:53 pm - Visual Entry | October 16, Two Thousand EightIt’s so calm - unusually subdued. I quite like it, I feel like I can get away with being a total geek, when it’s like this. I've been up since 230AM, and I've had this entry sitting in my journal marked as private for two weeks; thought it was time to paste it into a new entry and mark it public. I'm going to start working on a ADITL. I recently joined one of the 'aditl' communities, I love it and will try my best to make one of my own; though it'll be hard my routine/wake up/sleep changes everyday. In about zero point five seconds I will take a pill, I’m thinking it’s a skelaxin kind of day; but I’ll probably eat the yellow pill.
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